Things That Are Worth Waiting For

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“Things take longer when you choose not to settle.”

How do you feel about patience and waiting?

Full transparency: I am not a fan.

But I have come to see the value, and sometimes necessity, of waiting for things that truly matter. In this episode, I share some of those things. We’re taking love, parenthood, and everyday moments. This conversation is an encouraging reminder that your best life is worth waiting for.

The Truth About Patience And Waiting

So there is one thing that I do not pray for, and that is patience.

I don’t like waiting. And it has been my experience that whatever virtue I pray for or ask for, I have to practice and master. So, I don’t pray for it.

No matter how evolved and healed I think I may be, I don’t want to practice patience because it means I’ll have to wait, and I don’t want to do that. I just don’t. Now, whether I like it or not, waiting is part of the lived experience.

Unfortunately, everything we want and need on this journey cannot be ordered through Amazon Prime. So things like accredited degrees, licenses, certifications, wealth, health, love, family, and friends are not things we can order or acquire overnight. They don’t just show up just because we want them. So, although I don’t like waiting, I have had to do my share of waiting and practicing patience, and so today I want to talk about some things that I think are actually worth the wait.

1. Good Love

Let’s just start with the obvious frontrunner: true love, marriage, and partnership. That is absolutely worth the wait when it is good, when it is aligned, when it is beautiful. A relationship is the most vulnerable place to be. We risk heartbreak every time we share our heart with someone else, but taking your time to find meaningful, aligned, genuine, and divine connection is absolutely worth it. So don’t settle, wait for good love.

I am a fan of dating them all. So if you are a client, if you are a friend, if you are my niece or my daughter, I’m gonna tell you date, have fun, explore different partners, see what you love, what you like, what you don’t love, what you don’t like, but don’t settle. Don’t force it, don’t chase it. Wait for someone that you can truly love, and that will truly love you back. It’s worth the wait.

2. Parenthood

One of the most sacred life experiences is having a child and becoming a parent to a small, vulnerable human being. And if you choose to do that in your life, you have an obligation to do your best.

Waiting to have a child until you heal some of your old triggers, work through some of your trauma, and earn enough money is the responsible thing to do. Raising children is expensive. You’ve got to get your money right if you’re going to become a parent. And, lean in because this is important, wait for the right person before you choose to bring another human being into this world. You don’t want your child to spend their adult life healing from their parents. I always tell my kids, you will not sit across the table of a therapist on a couch talking about all of the horrible things that I’ve done to you, for you, or in your presence. I will work at this motherhood thing. I will strive to master parenthood. And although I was a young parent and I thought I wasn’t ready, I was absolutely ready for my daughter. I was completely scared, but I turned on in that moment. I activated a new level of healing, a new level of mastery, a new level of godliness and confidence. I was on it when it came to my kid.

If you are not in that position mentally, physically, or financially to become a parent, if you still need to work through some things, and you are not ready, it is okay if you don’t have a child until you are. Don’t let your age force you into a decision you are not positioned to handle.

One of my good friends had her first child at 42.

I know someone who had a child at 45.

You can wait.

3. Mastering Your Life

Success, wealth, personal growth, and purpose are worth everything that is required to get them. You don’t get success overnight. You don’t gain wealth overnight. You don’t grow personally overnight, and you do not fulfill your purpose overnight. In fact, most of the things I just listed will take your entire lifetime to perfect, but it’s worth it. It’s worth the work that is required. It’s worth the education, the skill building, the networking, the practice, the prayer, the research, the mentoring, the sweat, the tears, all of it is worth it. And if you work at it, it will pay off.

Fall in love with your own pace.

You don’t have to do it when everyone else is doing it, or master it as fast as everyone else. Learn to love the process and not just the prize or the outcome. Take your time to master your life. It will be worth it. Take your time becoming a writer. Take your time deciding what you want to go back to school and study. Take your time buying a house in a location that you love. Don’t settle for something that is cheap and convenient when you can build a legacy somewhere else in another year or two. Take your time. In fact, take this lifetime to do it.

4. Anything You Have To Work Hard For

This is true for several reasons: 1. Working hard and putting in some effort reveals who you are. It reveals characters, skills, values, and your true desires. The time it takes can also be used to reflect, build, and perfect your craft. So it’s worth it. Develop who you are as a person, identify your true values, and grow out of things that are no longer aligned with this version of yourself. 2. It gives you a dopamine hit when it pays off. The moment it happens, you get this rush of accomplishment. It feels good and gives you the inspiration and motivation you need to do it again in another area of your life. 3. It serves as a record of what you are capable of. When you had to work hard for something, put in the effort, build character, skills, know-how, and desire even, you get to see it in real life. When you experience doubt in the future, your ability to actually make it happen, you can look back over your life and say, “I did it then, I can do it again.”

I remember when I was a songwriter having to write 10 songs before I got my first placement, and truly, it was more than 10. I wrote song after song. When I heard my song playing on the radio, every 10 songs I had to write after that became worth it.

Everyday Experiences That Are Worth Waiting For

Before I go, here are some everyday experiences that are worth savoring, taking your time with. The big things in life are not the only things worth waiting for.

Have you ever witnessed a sunrise on a beach, on the balcony of a hotel, or from your room in your little apartment? It is absolutely beautiful. Sunsets are also amazing to witness, and you have to wait all day in order to experience those things.

A sunrise it calms me. It reminds me that God is there. It reminds me that I am meant to be here and that I am given another day or another night to recover and try again the next day.

A good meal. I love to cook, and I love to eat. It is so worth the effort every single time.

A soak in the tub after a long day. Soaking in a hot, bubble tub that smells good with the candles burning… Ahh. It is an amazing experience.

A kiss good night is worth the wait. Being kissed by your beloved on the forehead, on the back of your neck. Ooh, that is an amazing feeling. Kissing your children good night is an amazing feeling, which is the next one…

Tucking your kids into bed. Praying with them, reading them a book, kissing them on the forehead at night, is an amazing thing to savor.

Ladies, taking that bra off at the end of the day is an amazing experience and I’ll leave that there because the girls who get it get it.

Watching your favorite show after a long day is worth it. One of my favorite things to do when I’m not busy working is sitting on the couch under my cozy blanket and watching reruns of Law and Order or Criminal Minds.

Getting to your destination. Getting to my destination after a long drive, getting to a place in life that I’ve worked for for years, getting to a point or a level or a season in my healing that I have been praying for, it is absolutely worth it. We don’t just get to our destinations physically, we get there spiritually. We get there emotionally, and it’s absolutely a moment worth savoring.

Waiting for your moment to shine. Savoring that moment when you get to present the project that you worked on at work. Getting to the moment where you turn in your manuscript to your agent and your editor. Getting to the moment where you put that food on the table for your family… My family loves to eat. And when I put something on the table, they all start to move their hands together and lick their lips. It’s an amazing moment. And I feel like I am shining as a at-home cook.

We have to savor the things that we work hard and soft at. The moments we get to experience that are big and the moments that are small.

Moment Of Reflection

Things take longer when you choose not to settle.

When you work hard, when you put in the effort, when you do your thing, when you master what you are meant to do in this life, it takes a little longer. You may have to work hard, practice, pray, seek guidance, and wait, but you will experience everything that is meant for you in your lifetime.

Your best life is worth waiting for.

Until next time, beloved, I hope this helps.