I’LL SPARE YOU THE “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON” SPEECH. HOW TO GET OVER IT, LET IT GO, AND MOVE ON- FOR REAL.

The worst things to hear when you’re hurting, anxious, doubtful, scared, overwhelmed, and tired of being tired are:

Get over it

Let it go.

Move on.

Or, here is one that will inspire the side-eye, quick: everything happens for a reason.

You don’t want to stay in your hurting, anxious, doubtful, scared, overwhelmed, and tired of being tired space.  But, you deserve a minute to process what is happening in your life in a judgement-free space. You need a minute to feel before you can begin to deal. You need grace.

You need to know that you will eventually get over it (or at least push past it,) you will eventually move on (because staying hurts too much,) and you will eventually let it go (or get dragged.)

But there is a process that involves more than encouraging words (or cliches.)

How to get over it, let go, and move on for real:

1. Feel what you feel. If you’re feeling hurt, loss, overwhelmed, disappointed, betrayed, or whatever… It’s not because you’re weak, it’s because you’re human. Feeling those feelings are part of the human experience.

2. Prepare to deal with it. Attempting to work through or against unresolved feelings is something you just can’t do. Those feelings will eventually rise to the service. Acknowledge them as part of your experience, understanding that they can’t be avoided, denied (for long,) or stay hidden.

3. Do not take action or make a decision from a place of weakness. Bad news can be something that knocks the wind out of you. Don’t make your next move until you gather yourself and catch your breath. Move once you have taken some time to recover- time to feel and deal. Move when you can move with emotional ease.

4. Look for the lesson or opportunity to grow. You will find that the tough lessons you come by are the most meaningful ones. Don’t just go through it, grow through it. Grow from the perspective of hurt to help. It will hurt, but it can help, too.

And when you’ve worked your way through processing all of those feelings, and feel strong enough:

Get over it

Let it go.

Move on…

For real.