It is never okay to lie to yourself.
Not even in the name of personal development, motivation, manifestation, or any of that stuff.
Not to psych yourself out. Not to pump yourself up.
Seriously. It’s absolutely not okay to lie to yourself with the hope of feeling good about a bad situation.
When you lie to yourself, you silence your intuition, confuse your inner problem solver, and cause conflict (not collaboration) between your desire and your reality.
So, don’t say things that aren’t true, and call them affirmations.
Affirmations are great. Don’t get me wrong. I have a few that I say, daily. And there is a wealth of scientific research to support the practice of positive words and thoughts.
The problem is: most people aren’t doing it right.
Affirmations are confirmations. They assert or confirm what is true. They serve as reminders, pep talks, and prayers. They are not meant to give you a false sense of truth. And you deserve the truth, the whole truth, and…
If you’re feeling lost, a bit confused, and unsure of yourself these days, do not affirm that all is well– because things are far from well, and the truth is you feel like a complete mess.
If you’re feeling unhealthy, you know you could benefit from losing a few (or more) pounds, do not look at your beautifully thick self in the mirror and say I am thin with the hope of actually feeling or becoming thin- because, well, you’re not thin.
Feeling sick? Fatigued? Achy? Well, it’s probably because you are sick, fatigued, and achy. To say that you are well when you are not feeling well is a lie.
Affirming lies won’t serve you. In fact, psychologists have found people report feeling worse after affirming themselves in that way.
If you want to experience what’s on the other side of what’s going on in your life right now, affirm what is true, declare what you want, state your intentions, remind yourself of your ability to make stuff happen.
If all is not well right now, say so. And, then, speak the truth like this: All may not be well right now, but right now will not last forever. I will figure it out. I will find my way, and everything will be okay.
If you have weight loss goals and want to affirm what you want, say this: I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to look good. So, I am becoming more of who I really want to be with each workout, healthy meal, and positive decision.
Feeling sick could be the symptom of something as simple as needing more rest, or it could be something a lot more serious. Either way, it’s an opportunity to leverage your power of self-care. Declare this: I am worthy of love and tender care. I am wonderfully made. I will honor my life by taking good care of me. And if that doesn’t work, take yourself to the doctor to rule out something serious.
No psych-outs. No pump-ups. Just confirmations of how awesome you are.