There have been several defining moments in my life.

There was the time I set my first major goal ( I was only 10 years old.)

The time I got my heart broken into pieces at 17 years (I really thought I was going to die.)

The time I decided not to move to New York (I really became an adult in this moment.)

The time I got married (I was so young, yet so determined.)

But, the time I found out I was pregnant with my daughter?  That was the time a major shift happened.  I found out who I really was and how I really wanted to live in this world.

For the first time in my life, I thought about me… Nakeia.

I prayed for a really clear picture of myself. I wanted to see what my daughter would see when she looked at me. It wasn’t a pretty picture once the filters were erased. I saw what was behind the smile. I relived the moments that brought me to that one. And I felt more vulnerable than I had ever felt in my life.

I had more heart-work to do.

I had more healing to experience.

I had more truths to tell.

I grieved for the little girl who thought she wasn’t good enough, for the younger me who felt she had no purpose, for budding adult who went overlooked and undervalued… and I started to heal and grow.

This was the moment that really grew me up.

A woman who decided not to settle


There have been moments in your life that have contributed to the person you are today, in a major way. Those moments have caused you to define your beliefs, set limitations, raise or lower your standards- and to either take action or linger.

Because of those moments you have said:

 I will never…

 I am scared to…

I wish I would have…

The best thing about defining moments is that you actually get to choose them.  You get to choose the moments that stay with you, and moments you leave behind.  You also get to create defining moments.  You get to decide if this is the moment, the circumstance, the experience, or the second that changes your life forever.

If you have been waiting for the opportunity, divine sign, or moment that gives your life meaning- to finally become that person (you know the dope person you always knew you were?) or do that thing (you know the dope thing you’ve always wanted to do?) you are missing the point.  Every moment is an opportunity and every moment has meaning.

Your whole beautifully messy life has been waiting for you to finally give it meaning.

Yes. Those major moments like births, graduations, weddings, accidents, deaths, and such… are defining. But, so is your morning routine, your daily commute, your hellos and goodbyes.

There is an opportunity in each day to expand the definition of who you are. You become more of yourself, daily. 

If you’ve been waiting for that moment, stop waiting.

That moment is always right now.

Don’t miss it.





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